15 June 2011

Tick-tock of the clock is painful

Tomorrow is it. The daughter is counting down the hours until she's done. My own countdown is more private, no less final.

Ten years.

My dreams have been vivid, largely horrid the last week. Dreams of betrayal and betraying. Endings are just as hard for me. This parting should have been a good one, but some of the good has been lost because of the sour, the infernal, the one really nasty person who resents smart and talented kids.

I breathe deep and remember it's almost done.

I never let on what hurts me. I tell my kids what matters and who doesn't, counsel them to patience and to acceptance that some people are just awful for no reason except their personal awfulness. I remind them it's not their fault that someone else is petty and mean. I remind them to take the high road.

But my own fury is as fresh and passionate as before.

Almost over. But the clock seems to tick backwards.

Go listen to some good music: "Inside Out" from the album Eve 6 by Eve 6. I wish it was a happy ending instead of a relieved ending. But I reached the end of my rope 3 years ago.

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