The morning was gorgeous, the sun warm.
Somehow, it is nearly spring.
Yesterday, AT and I walked for the first time this year. I am clumsy. I lurch to the right unexpectedly. I trip over my right foot when it forgets what it's doing. But I walked a mile and a half.
It didn't hurt too much.
Directly afterward, I had to go to physical therapy (just because I don't write doesn't mean my life has stopped. It's not like I have time to sit around and brood about this except for the late afternoon and after I've fed everyone dinner. Then I get a bit broody. And annoyed. And I decide not to write). I told the therapist what I wrote here: something has changed, even though everything still feels mostly numb.
"Well," she said, cheerfully. "Here's the acid test."
About three weeks ago, she gave me a really simple exercise, one actually that I've done for years since the days that I danced. It's a leg lift, done lying on one's side. The upper leg is crossed over the lower, and you lift the lower straight toward the ceiling. It strengthens the inner thigh. That morning, I couldn't lift my leg off the table. I couldn't move it at all.
Yesterday, I got it off the table, and I was able to push back when she tried to push my ankle down. Not much and only for a second, but I was able to resist the force she put on it.
(Are those nerves reawakening? Sort of looks like it. "Slightly," I'm told. I've heard that word several times in the last few days. Not exactly the word I want to hear, but better than "no.")
The therapist was so thrilled with my progress that she put me through a murderous core workout as a reward. Walking is interesting today.
But it's progress.
And it's almost spring.
Very, very much suddenly seems very, very possible.
Go listen to some good music: "Modern Times" from the album Modern Times by Al Stewart. Yes, even if I still have surgery, a great deal is possible. What's a few sutures and someone chopping into my spinal column amongst friends? I have an invitation to visit Nepal, for what it's worth... There is still so much to do.