22 September 2010

Map of the problematique

The equinox comes sometime this evening, and autumn begins with a "super" harvest moon. It was appropriately cool today, not venturing much above 72F, which was nice. I am hearing that we had the coolest summer in years. I didn't mind.

On other fronts, the news gets worse, and I'm trying not to dwell on it, particularly the place where my life intersects with others' difficulties. For myself, I dislike uncertainty, and this constant sense of teetering on the edge of something terrible is driving me to distraction. I make plans. I think of other things, replay recent events, look for a mental anchor.

I think of where I was a week ago, and will myself back.

The daughter calls from school with a sore throat (unlike the son who took acetaminophen and drank fluids, the daughter flops around and whines). But I'll take the sore throat over the stomach bug that is apparently also coursing through the school. While I'm waiting for the daughter, I am asked if the son might tutor a Chinese girl who can't make heads or tails of English calculus terminology. He sighs when I ask him--his academic load is huge this year--but I know he will rise to the occasion.

I remind the kids to make sure that they've worked ahead on their homework. Tomorrow night, we are all going to see Muse. I've had the tickets since April; the daughter and the spouse particularly wanted to see them. The son and I are mostly going along for the ride, though I like Muse. Right now, of course, the whole idea seems misguided.

The smell of roasting chicken and roasting garlic is wafting through the house, and I need to peel potatoes. Chicken, garlic mashed potatoes with gravy and steamed green beans. Comfort food for an autumn night.

And when AT calls to tell me that she can't make our walk tomorrow morning, I am unbecomingly grateful. She is the loveliest lady and I so enjoy her company, but tomorrow, I could use a few miles to myself.

I am conscious of the desire not to wish my life away, but I am very anxious for this week to be over.

Go listen to some good music: "Map of the Problematique" from the album Black Holes and Revelations by Muse.

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