23 August 2010

It leads you here

I woke this morning, my heart racing like it knew something I didn't.

I had a bad night, but a good day.

And all day, my heart raced.

What it knows it's not telling.

I've been attending to business and responsibilities, tying up the loose ends of summer. In a few days, I'll be able to breathe, at least briefly. I hope that the road ahead of me brings more discoveries, more to learn, more to see.

For years, the years that I had to drive my then young son hundreds of miles a week to get him to and from school, I dreamed of roads. I know that I set out on a particular journey almost a decade ago, and it took me somewhere very different than where I'd planned.

Last night, I dreamed I was in a strange town, though it seemed a bit familiar, and someone behind me said something to me, expressing doubt or pointing out a flaw, and I shrugged and replied, "I'll take the chance."

And in the dream, I knew that taking that chance would lead somewhere I hadn't planned but I was more than happy to take that path anyway. I make my plans and follow them through, but I am alive to the possibility that something better may present itself, something that it would be foolish to push away.

Life is short and hope is long. I make my plans and build my castles. I know that everything can easily come crashing down. But I have to continue my journeys and take those chances. It hasn't been easy, but I've learned to bend, usually, rather than break.

And I'm glad. Whatever happens, I am glad.

My heart races along.

Go listen to some good music: "Under the Milky Way" from the album Digs Other People's Songs by Nicole Atkins.

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