23 October 2009

Adventures in solitude

Where to begin?

Well, there was the wasp's nest. The spouse took one look at it and said, "Call the exterminator." Probably not a bad idea, although my unyielding desire to play Superwoman makes me think, "All I need is a can of wasp spray and a cool morning..."

I know. Exterminator.

Then there was the joyous occasion of the spouse's natal day, which involved massive amounts of cooking on my part. Of course, the cooking involved baking a birthday cake. I've never had the top layer of a cake simply shatter, but the spouse watched it come apart with tremendous glee as it ripped open in a perfect Y-shaped triple junction.

"I wasn't sure they actually existed," he enthused, "but here it is forming right before my eyes."

(And you realize that this proves that not only is the Earth NOT a glowing blue marble, it is, in fact, a layer cake, and flat. Score one for the Flat Earthers.)

Geology aside, that cake was definitely a FAIL. Although it tasted just fine.

(Maybe the cream I put in the frosting acted like magma?)

So, things were going along swimmingly.

And the spouse decided to go running around on concrete in his cleats after the Soaring Rodents game (no t-shirt this season) on Sunday. So, yeah, 48-year-old guy goes splat, falling straight arm on his left side.

(Have I mentioned he's left-handed?)

So the doctor said that despite the pain, his arm wasn't broken and 48 hours later, radiology helpfully ruled out a fracture. I attribute his strong bones to a diet of FISH, BROCCOLI, and BRUSSELS SPROUTS, thank you very much. Oh, and liberal doses of homemade muesli, which has a lot of yogurt in it, but he loves the muesli, so it doesn't count.

(Smug? Was I smug? Damn straight I was smug.)

What he does have is a nasty tear of his biceps muscle, though our doctor told him pretty matter of factly that he was fortunate that he hadn't torn the whole thing off his humerus. Good news, that last bit, but on the whole EPIC FAIL.

So that made for an exciting beginning of the week. I relieved my anxieties by putting out 11 bins of yard waste on Thursday.

("Is there anything left in the backyard?" the spouse asked in disbelief. Yes, about 25 more bins of yard waste. The garden goes mad in the summer, and I'm in the process of cleaning up all the trees, shrubs and vines as well as billions of cubic feet of pine straw. You know how dogs shed? Well, our pine tree sheds in September. The back is about 150 feet long, and the canopy of the pine covers probably 90 feet of it. You'd be hard pressed to believe that a needle remains on the tree, but there they are.)

Then there's that neighborhood BOO thing. In all the other excitement going on, I sort of forgot that we were likely to get BOO-ed, and I was caught more or less flatfooted when a pumpkin with some candy and a box of Boo Berry cereal appeared on the doormat. So I ended up baking cupcakes...

Cut to Friday, and naturally, the daughter didn't have school because...PARENT-TEACHER CONFERENCES. So I chatted with teachers, and then I took the daughter to lunch and we shared a fine repast of Buffalo wings and french fries and salad because we like to dip the french fries in the wing sauce. And eat salad. No mother-daughter tea for these two refined ladies...

I also made the best banana muffins ever because when don't I have a few rotting bananas lying around somewhere? The recipe is here, and they were particularly wonderful because they're made with whole wheat pastry flour, which makes them soft and fluffy.

Books? I so enjoyed Juliet, Naked by Nick Hornby. It's almost a companion piece to High Fidelity, but I liked it even better, and those of you who know me IRL will understand precisely why.

(I've met people like Duncan. I really don't quite comprehend that mentality.)

Concerts? No, I'm most assuredly not going to the Rose Bowl on Sunday. I saw U2 on the Joshua Tree tour, had great seats to the right of the stage, loved the show, and never felt the need to see them again. When the show generates more buzz than the music...

But travel? Yes. Even the horoscope is starting to say it's time to get out of Dodge. It's in the yet-to-come column. More on that later.

And that's how I spent my one-week blog vacation.

Go listen to some good music: "Adventures in Solitude" from the album Live from Soho (iTunes exclusive) by The New P*rnographers. See. No mention of the ALCS, and yes, I saw you peeking last night. Made my week.

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