07 August 2009

Ceiling unlimited

Despite everything, I've been highly productive this week. Hours in the garden weeding, trimming and staking; rain is forecast to come early this winter. I may get one set of crops in before the summer ends, not that summer really ends until some time in October.

Or this year, September, if the forecasters are right about early rain.

Finished a book chapter that I needed to edit. Out the door, off to the publisher. It always amazes me and thrills me that I can and I do work on that stuff. It's a completely different mindset, another way of thinking, and something wholly different turns on in my head when I'm working on science. I love it.

The last months have been a struggle, which I realize has not been even slightly obvious. It's been like jumping off the diving board into the deep end: falling, falling, falling. Then you hit the water. About half the time, that's painful if you haven't hit the dive right (and rarely did I, so some body part always smacked the surface of the water). Then you're plowing through the water, down, down, down. Eventually, you hit the bottom of the pool. Traveling back to the surface of the water seems to take forever, and then you break through. I think that this week, I found my way back to the surface.

Time for another deep breath.

School starts September 1. The kids and I have had a good summer, a lazy summer, but what seems to be a necessary summer. We have been at ease with one another, and the exhaustion seems to have abated somewhat. You can only hold your breath for so long.

Tonight, I strolled out at twilight, as the sky darkened and the stars began to appear. It has suddenly cooled, and the temperature was probably 15 degrees lower today, which was quite pleasant. The air was very clear, the ceiling unlimited. September is coming, and I felt a tiny chill of anticipation in the pit of my stomach, apropos of nothing. Autumn has always seemed more like the start of my year, possibly because I've always equated it with the start of school, and I've spent more than a third of my life in school. So, I found myself looking to the future: a concert in L.A. in September. Once he learned that I travel solo, T. started talking about me taking another trip to D.C., and I'm trying to make arrangements to do that in October. It's time and past time.

There are things I've yet to do. Ceiling's unlimited, and life is too damned short.

Go listen to some good music: "Ceiling Unlimited" from the album Vapor Trails by Rush.

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