24 July 2009

Rain dance

Sometimes it's about opportunity. We hear a lot about opportunity: it knocks, we seek one, and sometimes, they just happen. They come in many shapes and forms, and it can be up to us to see they exist.

Sometimes it's about yes. The opportunity arrives and we have the choice to open or shut the door, throw it wide or slam it closed. Whisper no or shout yes. What is harder? Turning down an opportunity or embracing it?

Sometimes it's about a smile. We encounter one another, day in and day out. We avert our eyes, or meet gazes with a challenge. If we are smart, we soften the look with a smile. It is nothing more than a twitch of muscle, a half moon curve, but if it touches the eyes, so much the better because that makes it real. I have seen my smile change the entire shape of a stranger's face. A stranger's smile has changed the shape of my life.

Sometimes it's about desire. Desire, the longing for something more or better, can destroy or create, can birth or kill. But desire is energy and energy cannot itself be created or destroyed; it is conserved. So we sublimate, we disseminate if we cannot consummate. Desire runs like a warm wave from my heart through my fingers and toes, the top of my head. I pulse with a feeling that has no name and I am a mirror, a receiver, a relay tower for what you send me, energy that has no beginning, no end.

And if there were an opportunity to broadcast my desire, would I close the door or smile yes?

Go listen to some music: "Rain Dance" from the album The Journey by Adiemus. It's been slow, but I've begun to retrieve my joy from the shreds and tatters of the rest of the world. And with this, back to the original intent of my blog: playing with words. If you read carefully, you can probably see the moment I got bored with the exercise and looked for a quick out. There was supposed to be another stanza about love. Because when you boil it all down, love always figures in there somewhere.

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