23 February 2009


The life:

Chaos, often of my own making. That's my life.

A crucible on fire, and I keep putting a lid on it, believing no one will see.

Like a lid makes a difference.

Tick tick tick...


I've made the arrangements for New York, but haven't quite pushed the button. Since I decided to go, I've suddenly been charged with hosting a cocktail party for 50 or 60 people the following weekend. Oh, and I'm snack mommy for the daughter's basketball team that Monday. Of course.

(...and suddenly... Two of the most amusing words ever. I thought that as I aged and the kids got older, "and suddenly" would dwindle. Oh no. It increases.)

Well, I'm not going to be derailed by something so minor as a cocktail party. Even if I'm still recovering from the year of living on adrenaline.

Believe it.

The day:

Yesterday, I walked, and the clouds were amazing. Our odd weather seems to have brought spring on early, and I smelled the first faint hint of orange blossom, which always speaks of change, but more importantly, of hope.

This morning, taking the son to the bus stop, the sun rose in the east, creating an incredible rainbow in an indigo cloud to the west. Breathtaking.

Picking up the daughter from basketball at sunset, the sky glowed peach and grey, and was filled with mare's tails. We often have beautiful sunsets, but this was far and away the loveliest I've seen for some time.

Tonight, we were able to find Comet Lulin, the green comet, just below and right of the constellation Leo and directly right of Saturn. You need binoculars, but if you can find Saturn, the little green light is pretty clear.

The story:

One late summer afternoon a few years ago, I took advantage of an opportunity and decided to tell a little story. Whim, and it was whimsical. Space was limited and I had 25 words and a couple of numbers or less. I selected the words based on their immediacy and how quickly they could be read, while the numbers simply were, as numbers tend to be, quite exact. The end result was a little clumsy, not my usual standard, but it said what I wanted to say. Message transmitted, and I saw when I sent it on its way, message received.

And that was that, right? My life is never that simple.

Throw forward a few years, and a woman I'd never seen before approached me and started a conversation with the words, "I thought you should know..."

I didn't think so at the time, but it was good I knew. Stuff happened, and suddenly, like the old cartoon says, a miracle occurred, along with a lot of other things. The whats, the whys, the wherefores are important only to me, maybe to one or two others. It was good; I was happy. Perhaps more importantly, it was the kick that I needed, and I was galvanized. I went places I needed to revist, places I'd never been, and there are yet places to see. I don't ever want to lose that energy, that drive, that sense of joy. I want to make it go on forever.

Twenty-five words and two numbers or less. Such a tiny thing, completely innocent and uncalculated, perpetrated in a moment of silliness, a moment in which I wanted to say something. In itself, unusual for me. I am shy that way.

It was worth every mile.

Go listen to some good music: "Tick Tick Boom" from The Black and White Album by The Hives. I always worry I sound self-aggrandizing. Not what I want. I don't even think I'm interesting. And the 25 words or less? It's about like Twitter. Yes, I'm on Twitter.

No comments: