30 January 2009

The maw

En route to school:

The son: "I'm going to be 15!"

Me: "Yes."

The son: "Okay, I know what I want for my birthday cake."

As previously discussed, part of birthday celebrations around here involve me making the celebrant's desired birthday cake (mine gets ordered from a really good bakery). The son has taken this to a new level, and tries to invent the most impossible creation ever. So far, I've flummoxed him and managed to pull off everything he's requested, including cupcakes for his birthday party that looked like Flood Spore from Halo, down to the nasty color and tentacles (yay, black licorice). His friends were mightily impressed and they even tasted good if you could get past the color. I was really quite pleased.

(Thank god he hasn't gotten too many sculptural ideas, like say, the Master Chief's helmet. Though I made a very respectable Blue from Blue's Clues for the daughter many years ago.)

Me, noncommittally: "Mmmm."

The son: "Don't say it like that!"

Might I add we're having this conversation at 6:45 in the morning?

Me: "So what do you want this year?"

The son: "Buttercream frosting. Of course."

Me: "Of course."

I do buttercream frosting on Legendary.

The son: "Well, yellow cake. The standard."

Me: "Mmmhmm."

The son: "And inside..."

Ah, the kicker. You wouldn't believe what I've had to invent for the inside.

Me: "Yes?"

The son: "Marzipan."

Me, resisting the impulse to say that's it? Marzipan?: "Marzipan."

The son, enthusiastically: "Yeah! Marzipan!"

Still resisting the desire to look relieved, me: "Okay. Marzipan."

The son: "Now on the outside...the color scheme..."

Me: "What, are you going in for interior decorating or something here?"

The son: "Exterior decorating, Mom. We're talking about the outside of the cake."

Me: "Alright, what?"

The son: "Okay...black frosting."

Me: "Well, I'll just make chocolate frosting."

The son: "NO!"

Me: "Why not? It's black."

The son: "Buttercream only."

Me: "This is still buttercream. I just add cocoa powder and it tastes like chocolate."

The son: "NO! Black buttercream frosting. Not chocolate."

Me: "Dude. I can't do that."

The son: "Why? I want black frosting with red writing."

Me: "I have to mix colors. They look awful."

(Dear readers, yes I know I could buy black frosting tint at a speciality store, and I almost did three weeks ago, and then decided I'd never use it for the price. Yes, kicking myself and I'd never admit this to a teenager. Of course, he does read my blog.)

The son: "Oh. I see what you mean."

Me: "It ends up sort of dark brownish with tints of red and stuff. It's not very appetizing."

The son, with a big grin: "Okay. Then Master Chief green."

Which is also not very appetizing. But better than Flood...urgh...whatever that color is.

The son, continuing meditatively: "Maybe with a big splatter on it..."

Go listen to some good music: "The Maw" from the album Halo: The Soundtrack by Martin O'Donnell & Michael Salvatori. We are also going to see Coraline in 3D since it's releasing on his b-day, and he watched the trailer and decided that he wasn't too old to enjoy it. The daughter and I were going to see it regardless.

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