27 February 2008

Secrets of astrology

You need to promote yourself and to let others know of your
potential talents. Playing the modest type today won't do you
any favours. People need to know straight up front who you are and
what you bring to the table. Take this as both financial and romantic advice.


My horoscope pops up on my browser in the morning to amuse me. Often it says very specific and uninteresting things like "this would be a good day to pay the bills," or "your phone isn't going to work and you'll miss a phone call you want." Some days it's very pointed: "don't be so hard on yourself," and I'm compelled to ask the spouse if he wrote it.

I admit I usually just laugh, although it's not a bad thing to remind myself occasionally, that yes, paying the bills is good advice.

But I have to say that today's horoscope provoked a certain annoyance. I feel like I've been invited on some cosmic job interview. Well, cosmos, here it is:

I consider myself pretty WYSIWYG--what you see is what you get--although the truth is you'd probably have to actually talk to me for a few minutes to see exactly what you're getting. The package the brain comes wrapped in doesn't quite tell the whole story. I've often been assured, however, that once I open my mouth, it's all over.

To that end, I am sadly transparent (see above: what you see is what you get), and I look guilty when I am, and I turn violent shades of red when I'm embarrassed, and if I'm having fun, it's quite evident.

I don't play at being a type. I am very much what I am. Immodest or otherwise, I am extremely good at doing my job, but I won't pretend to be able to do things I can't to make an employer happy. Or anyone else, for that matter. Frequently, being me doesn't do me any favors. My tendencies to be blunt and highly focused are off-putting to some people.

I have a talent for trouble, but I mean that in a good way, mostly. I am not afraid of trouble, and will stir it up for a good cause. I fix things, take on big stinking problems, including the human ones. I can't tell you how many memos have started with the words "she opened another can of worms." But I don't just open them; I sort them out; clean them up; turn them into history.

Treat me with respect and fairness, and I'm as loyal as they come. I will fight for you, any battle. Treat me poorly, be dishonest with me, and I'm out the door, without regret.

Personal blind spots, I can get them for you wholesale. I am often short-tempered and frequently impatient, and I have zero ability to see the impact that I have on those around me, whether that impact is positive or negative. I was raised as a Catholic, so I know that whatever goes wrong, it is my fault, my fault, my personal and most grievous fault. I get bored and can get bored rather quickly, and when I get bored, everyone is in trouble.

Delight my mind, and you're well on your way to winning my heart.

Any questions?

Go listen to some music: "Secrets of Astrology" from the album Secrets of Astrology by Lana Lane. Horoscope courtesy of cafeastrology.com.

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