As I was struggling to haul the son out of the shower and get him into clothing before he frightened his sister, he suddenly exclaimed in outrage.
The son: "Hey! I never got my last Director's Honor Roll certificate."
Me: "We'll have to ask Mrs. K. for it."
The spouse, who had just wandered in: "Did you get another report card?"
Me: "No. They were handed out before Christmas."
The son: "I was sick." To me conversationally: "I'm happy I was sick."
Me: "You are not! You were fussing the whole time about missing the class holiday party."
The son: "But I got to spend more time with you."
Me, looking significantly at the spouse, and then rolling my eyes.
The son, grinning: "It gave me time to bond with you."
Me: "WHAT DO YOU THINK WE'VE BEEN DOING FOR THE LAST 14 YEARS?"
Go listen to some good music: "Part of Me Now" from the album Mania by Lucy Show.