Two nights ago, around 11 pm, I was indulging my OCD by going round the house and checking all the windows and doors 4 times before I went to bed. Looking out at the dark street while testing the locks on one of the front windows, I noticed a flashlight bobbing up the street.
I watched the flashlight bob up past my house, stopping briefly on my lawn, and I started to get irritated. There are two planned communities near by and the unpleasant people who live in them tend to walk their dogs in our neighborhood and let them poop on our lawns. I believe in training both the owner and the dog, so when I catch them at it, I turn the sprinkler on them, which is both effective and hilarious. I was beginning to think that it was time for the sprinkler.
The flashlight bobbed up to the corner, turned and came back down the street, and stopped in my flower bed.
Enough, I thought, and grabbed my 2-foot long Maglite and flipped on the front light.
"Do you need something?" I hollered in the direction of the flashlight.
A sheepish laugh emerged from the hooded figure and a pug began to bark wheezily but enthusiastically at me.
"What are you doing out here at this hour?" I demanded of my friend and neighbor R.
"He won't poop in our yard anymore," she wailed. "So I have to take him out."
Of course, I had to snark at her about letting the dog poop in my flowers ("I cleaned it all up," she cried), not to mention tease her about how close she came to getting the sprinkler treatment.
"You wouldn't," she said in horror.
"I do," I assured her.
We hadn't seen each other in a few weeks, and we ended up standing on my front walk, laughing and talking for two hours.
After she and the dog wandered off home, I locked up my house again, and checked all the doors and windows for a fifth time, snickering.
"I thought you were coming to bed hours ago," complained the spouse drowsily.
"I was out talking to R.," I told him.
"At this hour? what was she doing out?"
"Letting her dog poop on the lawn," I laughed, and turned off the light.
Go listen to some good music: "Shout" from the album Songs From the Big Chair by Tears for Fears.